However, if you talk to many people privately, they'll tell you they regret their marriage breaking up.
If you ask these folks, they'll tell you that it was for the best. And, of course, there are some marriages that shouldn't go on and where divorce is the best for all parties involved.
I was in the process of moving and too busy with my own family. A month later, it was clear he had days to live. A lot of us wish we'd made the time to learn a new language to open up a whole new culture to us. The question is what are we going to do with the rest of our lives to ensure we don't experience any of these regrets later on when we're in the hospital preparing to say goodbye. There's always something to distract us from getting around to certain things we know we should do. The question is, are you going to change anything this afternoon or tomorrow in light of this list? How do you balance meeting that short-term deadline at work and sitting down for dinner with your family? Sometimes, we thought to pick up the phone, but maybe we don't have their number or email any more. Many of us can't get off our phone/email addiction. We know constantly checking email and Twitter in the evenings and on weekends takes us away from quality time with family and friends. Related to that lack of confidence, a lot of us get sucked into living the life that we think a good son or daughter should live. Maybe we didn't apply for that job we always wanted to because of a child, or because our spouse didn't want to move cities. Seems strange to say, but most of us don't know how to have fun. But these were two guys that were inseparable as kids.
I rushed to the hospital and did get to visit at his bedside before he passed, but he was a different guy from the one I'd spoken to only a month earlier on the phone. We hadn't been best friends and we hadn't seen much of each other since high school, but I know I'll always regret not going to visit him earlier when I'd had the chance. If you have some regrets you'd like to share, please leave them below in the comments for all to read. We always wonder what it would be like to sit down with them again for a coffee. Whether because we're explicitly told or just because we unconsciously adopt it, we make key life choices - about where to go to school, what to study, and where to work -- because we think it's what will make our parents happy. It might not have been the perfect job for us, but we always regret not trying out for it. They got washed in a bucket in their parents' kitchen sink together.
We never start out thinking our choice of friends could lead us to such a difficult outcome. When I met them, they were already well-known at their job.
And there are many examples I can think of where their jobs were very senior and they were very well-respected. I remember at an old Dale Carnegie class I attended, they told us more people were afraid of public speaking than dying. We miss out on half (or maybe all) the fun in life that way. Crack a joke with the bus driver - even if he ends up looking at you weird. You'll probably smile, on the inside if not the outside. It could be raking leaves, learning how to throw a football, or cleaning up a play room together. They'd rather die than give a speech apparently. I had a buddy I went to high school with who died 3 years ago. When our kids struggle though, there's nothing bigger than makes us feel guilty. And with the explosion of always-on smartphones and tablets delivering a fire hose of urgent emails, not to mention Twitter and Facebook (FB), in recent years, things have only gotten busier. A good friend or loved one - maybe close to us in age - drops dead unexpectedly. I'll make it up with the family this weekend." But the "making up" never seems to happen. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us in grade 4 or some other early age. And by the way most of us have also met up with a bully in our work life. We remember that one time we wish we'd told him off - even if it cost us our job. Most play a never-ending game of "what might have been" for the rest of their lives. Related to the previous point, a big regret for most of us is questioning why we had such little confidence in ourselves. We learned all the little habits that we take for granted in our own behavior from mimicking our parents.He said: "It sounds corny but they've got to do what they love." He's right.Of course, as a country, we need more engineers, scientists, and other "hard" science folks. Now, neither one will make a move to improve things because they think they've tried and the other one is too stubborn. We do a matrix before taking that job and figure out a way to prove to ourselves that, analytically, this makes sense. Nerves get the best of us - especially when we're young. They think they've done all they can and washed their hands of the relationship. Whether it's as simple as taking a job we weren't really thrilled about or as complex of being the victim of some crime, most of us have had the experience of a little voice in the back of our heads warning us that something was wrong here. Most of the time, we learn later that voice was dead right. We can forgive ourselves that we didn't screw up enough courage to ask that boy or girl out on a date or to the prom. But, at the end of the day, you've got to live your life, not the government's. If you ask these folks, they'll tell you that it was for the best. And, of course, there are some marriages that shouldn't go on and where divorce is the best for all parties involved. There are many who think they need to take a "consulting job" to build up their experience before settling in to a job they love. I had an old mentor who used to tell me, "when it comes to parenting, it's not ." When we get so busy at work, we comfort ourselves knowing that we're going to stay late at the office again with the idea that we'll make it up by taking our son to a ballgame on the weekend. Not taking care of my health when I had the chance. However, if you talk to many people privately, they'll tell you they regret their marriage breaking up. However, we can really get sidetracked by hooking up with this group. Sometimes it leads to drugs or serious crimes. I've spoken with lots of folks who didn't graduate with a high school or college degree.